


It Was Made For You

by Liza0111



Series: Some People Move On, But Not Us [3]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety Attacks, Character Death, Depression, Heavy Angst, Hurt Tony Stark, M/M, No Endgame Spoilers, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma, Self-Blame, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Survivor Guilt, Tony Stark Angst, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-21
Updated: 2019-04-21
Packaged: 2020-01-23 04:18:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18542113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liza0111/pseuds/Liza0111
Summary: Captain America's shield is broken, so Tony has to fix it.-The Avengers lost. Steve Rogers is dead. Tony Stark represses it.





	It Was Made For You

**Author's Note:**

> Rated M for violence and character deaths. Also, this gets pretty dark, so please read the tags before continuing!

 

Even the Earth’s strongest element can’t compare with six infinity stones at once.

 

Tony knows it’s his fault. He should have thought of that. How stupid of him, how can he have not considered that? The shield is Cap’s most prized possession. It was careless of him to not be prepared since he is in charge of everyone’s equipment.

 

But it’s okay. Tony can fix it. That’s what he does; he fixes things. He is a mechanic.

 

Before he knows it, Tony is already back at his workshop. Great, he has all the tools he need for the project. He will build the strongest shield for Steve, because Captain America deserves the best shield on the planet.

 

-

 

 

If not even Vibranium is strong enough to protect Steve, then Tony has no choice. He will create an even stronger element. He fixed the problem of Palladium poisoning by himself last time, he can do it again.

 

-

 

Tony doesn’t sleep much anymore. There is always a sense of urgency pushing against the back of his mind.  He needs to finish making this shield soon. Cap needs it to fight. More importantly, Cap needs it to protect himself.

 

The thought of Steve without his shield gives Tony’s stomach a cold feeling, spreading through his entire body. Steve is strong, he can take care of himself, but he is also not the best at protecting himself from sustaining injuries. Steve always runs straight towards where the enemy is the most vicious, getting himself hurt all the time.  

 

And there is no way Tony would let that happen on his watch.

 

-

 

“Initiating process……”

 

“Trial 38, fail.”

“Trial 39, fail.”

“Trial 40, fail.”

“Trial……”

 

No matter how many times it takes, Tony will not give up on giving Steve that shield.

 

-

 

Tony doesn’t know how he can stop having panic attacks. The shield is taking too long to be made. Cap can’t go without his shield for this long.

 

_Why? Tony, why can’t Cap go without his shield for long?_

 

B-Because then he will get hurt.

 

_What would happen if Cap gets hurt?_

 

He……He would……

 

Blood. A loud bang as the body is slammed onto the ground. More blood. Screams. Warm. Cold. Blank. Haziness. He can’t think. He can’t think. He can’t remember.

 

Tony is stupid. He is so useless. He can’t even get this one thing right. Good for nothing. That’s why Steve should have thrown him away, found someone better. He is useless. He isn’t good enough for Steve.

 

He cries for for a whole hour in the little corner of the room.

 

-

 

It’s been 67 hours since he last slept.

 

He finally successfully created that element.

 

Tony wakes up five hours later on the floor with his tools scattered around him, shivering in the cold. He admonishes himself while tears are brimming in his eyes. He can’t believe he wasted precious time again.

 

-

 

He finally creates that shield.

 

Tony can’t stop admiring it. He did it. Strongest element in the world. The shield is indestructible, impenetrable. Nothing will be able to break this shield. Nothing will be able to get through to Cap. It won’t be like last time, not even with six infinity stones……

 

……infinity stones?

 

Right. That’s what broke the shield last time.

 

_Who has all the infinity stones, Tony?_

 

Tha……

 

_Tony?_

 

Thanos.

 

_Where is Steve, Tony?_

_Where is he?_

_Has he not visited you at the workshop even once? Brought you coffee and food like he always did?_

 

Steve is…… _Steve is……_

 

Then he remembers all of it, memories rushing out from the floodgate of his brain. Steve held up the shield to protect himself from the energy blast, but it wasn’t enough. The shield shattered before his eyes and Steve Rogers was hit by the beam from six infinity stones. His heart was stopped instantly. Tony had screamed, crawling to Steve’s side trying to desperately revive him. Steve’s pupils were wild blown, blood dripping down the corner of his lips. His body was warm, still. Thanos held out his fist. He was going to kill him on the spot too but at the end he decided to spare him, knowing he had already broke Tony Stark to the point beyond repair, he might as well be dead.

 

_How did Tony end up here, back on Earth?_

 

Thanos was gone. Tony spent hours sobbing next to Steve’s cold body. His pulse is gone forever. A woman approached them from a distance. It was Carol.

 

Carol found him. She looked terribly pained but she was kind to Tony. _“I am so sorry.” She said. “We need to get you back, Tony.” She said._ Her blood was dripping through her suit. She was injured too. She helped Tony back to the ship.

 

_What happened to Steve’s body?_

 

Tony couldn’t remember. Carol must have gotten him on the ship too. Tony could only remember looking at the floor of the ship.

 

He was left in his room. He didn’t even leave once. Nat. Nat came to feed him food and water. Nat rubbing his back and telling him to sleep. Tony couldn’t talk. All Tony did was staring at the wall. They must have held a funeral for Steve. Tony couldn’t even attend. Tony was paralyzed by shock.

 

_How did Tony end up at the workshop then?_

 

He doesn’t remember how long it had been, but eventually Nat had to leave. “ _Take care of yourself, Tony.” She came to his room one last time and kissed his forehead. “I am sorry, but we have to go. This is our last chance. We have to try one last time. We owe it to them. Wait for us, Tony. We will be back. Promise.”_ Then Nat was gone. Whoever were left all went with her. Nat never came back. Nobody did. She lied.Tony was all alone in the tower. Eventually Tony left his room, and he found the workshop.

 

He had to make a new shield for Steve.

 

_Steve was dead. All his friends are dead. Tony didn’t even say goodbye to any of them._

 

Nausea overtakes him, he would have thrown up if he had anything left in his stomach. Tony stumbles and drops to his knees, hands clasped tightly over his mouth. Violent trembles runs through his entire body. He was hyperventilating. He is working so hard to breathe, but his lungs won’t expand. Tears fill his widened eyes as his heart pounds hard in his chest.

 

_That’s right._

_The shield doesn’t matter anymore._

_Steve can’t use it anymore. You are too late._

 

_I am too late._

 

 _Steve, Steve, Steve, I made the shield for you. I made it. I did it. Steve. This is for you. Please. Please don’t leave me Cap. I am sorry. I am sorry._ _I can do better Steve look Steve I made this shield for you so you won’t be hurt anymore I made the strongest element on Earth Steve I did it. I did it. Forgive me, please forgive me. Steve. Where are you._

 

This can’t be. This can’t be. He frantically searches for the familiar figure in his workshop, the last bit of hope he holds disintegrating rapidly. He feels like he might collapse within himself, like a star imploding on itself. A black hole in the making.

 

Tony wants to scream, lips trembling.

 

The death of a star is silent.

  
  
  
  


“……Cap……?”

  


**Author's Note:**

> I don't know why I have so many angst ideas. I made myself really sad again.


End file.
